Death Watch
April 2010
“But being full of the Holy Spirit, he gazed intently into heaven and
saw the glory of God, and Jesus standing at the right hand of God.” Acts 7:35/NASB
“The ringleaders took off their coats and asked a young man named Saul to watch them…” As the rocks flew fast and furiously at Stephen, he prayed, “Forgive them!” This Saul becomes Paul. Our Paul—the missionary Paul, the one who wrote thirteen letters in our New Testament and passionately fought the good fight. How many nights did Paul go to sleep with the face of an angel shining before him? Did he envision every stone that pelted the sweet face that cried out, “Father, forgive them!” Could it be Stephen’s face he saw when he said for us to spur one another toward love and good deeds? Is this one of many reasons Paul strived to finish the race and challenges us to do so, as well?
As I thought through this line of reasoning, it occurred to me that this was a deathwatch. Not the kind where you pray someone peacefully into the kingdom of God, but the kind where you set out to deliberately kill that which you do not agree with. This thought stopped me. God suddenly turned my thoughts to my own deathwatches in my life—the times when my choices killed righteousness. Granted my death watches were not the physical death of a person, but they were the emotional and spiritual death of someone—mostly me. A deathwatch has a way of dramatically changing all involved. Either the heart hardens or humbles itself. I have a two and half-year period in my life from my very young 20’s that honestly I do not like to talk about, yet this period of poor choices humbled me. Sadly, my own choices stoned me. At my absolute darkest moment when I felt as if I might die inside, I cried out to the Father, “Help!” Instantly, I saw the LORD face to face. He met my cry. I saw the LORD amidst my circumstances and knew the peace that surpasses all understanding.
Are you dealing with a deathwatch where others stone you? Are you stoning yourself? Beloved, seek to see the face of God! Cry out to Him. He will enable you to press on in the fight for His glory!
Father, give us eyes only for You! In Jesus’ Name, Amen
I’d love to hear from you—face to face—heart to heart.
Simply,
Tara
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