Heart To Heart
July 2009
When I opened the email that said, “Tara, your Web source is missing on page 9,” my heart sunk. How could it be missing?
Sure enough, when I opened the page it no longer existed. I felt sick to my stomach. I sent that source off with my thesis paper for my seminary application. What will they think of me?
My husband and I tried hard to search computer engines to find the quote, but to no avail. It was gone.
Suddenly, I found myself sitting with a test before me. Do I let it go and hope they do not find it, or do I let them know and run the risk that they not accept me for misquoting a source. I prayed and sought counsel. I knew I had to risk being denied acceptance in order to clarify what happened.
With apprehension I sent off the email explaining to my professor what happened. And then I waited! I don’t like tests and I definitely don’t like waiting!
I recently read that the purpose of a test is not to tell the teacher what the student knows, but to show the student what she knows. The reality that God knew my heart proved enough for me. This test became an open window into my soul.
I will confess for a moment I wanted to let it ride and just see what happened. I discovered that my test on honesty revealed an area in my heart that still needed some work.
Just as the test revealed my ugly-for-a-moment side, it also showed me the eternal beauty within. I did not follow through with the temptation to wait it out. I spoke up. Suddenly, my test revealed what God already knew. I would seek faithful obedience even if it hurt.
What kind of tests are you enduring? I can only imagine they are unbearable at times. I know mine are unbearable at times. Remember, the Father will provide a way of escape (1 Corinthians 10:13.) The question we have to ask ourselves is: Do I want to escape? That in and of itself is a revelation of what resides within us. Amazing, huh?
Simply,
Tara
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