The Gift Of Tears

September 2008

I have great crying partners. My sisters.  Every time we talk we laugh so hard till we cry. My daughters have now picked up this Boujakly phenomenon. It’s nothing to hear them burst into sobs of “hahahas” when we’re together.

What have you cried about lately? A “weepie” movie? Has something loosened fountains of emotions that have streamed out of the tear ducts in your eyes? Perhaps it’s love and all who love are “blind but when the heart’s on fire you must realize smoke gets in your eyes.” Or maybe a lovely flame in your life has died causing smoke to get in your eyes. It seems like the older I get the easier I cry. How about you? I am not sure why that is. More to cry about? More deposits in the emotions’ bank yet to be released through tears? Don’t know.

Jesus wept. I don’t know if Jesus laughed till he cried. But I know he had tears of pain. In John 11:33-36 we watch the tears well up in his eyes from an eternal and divine deep within. His friend was dead, his friends’ sisters were grieving and weeping, and the crowd around them was unbelieving. All this distressed him and strained him on top of the anticipation of his own death. Jesus wept; compassion made visible. Only two words but they are as deep as the sea!

The event that is troubling me lately is when Jesus wept in the garden (Mark 14:32-42). Jesus takes Peter, James, and John with him up the steps leading into the place where olives are pressed to extract oil. The seclusion provided much needed space to come to terms with the crushing blows of life he will be facing shortly. He knew the cross must be carried, the self must be denied, and Gethsemane was the place to wage this struggle of discipleship.

After he instructs his disciples to watch and pray lest temptation overcome them, he models what he just instructed them to do: Watch and pray. Except as the writers tells us it was some watching and praying. He was distressed, agitated, anxious, and deeply grieved or utterly dismayed. Jesus knew distress at Lazarus’ tomb. Here the distress seems even deeper. What are these emotions of distress, agitation, and grief all about? Other translations speak of terrible sorrow and anxious trouble. Commentators say “he is in the grip of a shuddering horror in the face of the dreadful prospect before him.” Another describes his state as one who “was seized by horror and distress.” Horror? Jesus horrified? What could be so horrifying that he sweats blood? What could be so horrifying that his acid sadness could have melted him to death? What caused his tears of blood? The hour!

Yes the hour he dreaded all his life. The hour of horror and the anticipated physical pain of death! The hour of horror that would injure his emotions and spirit! But mostly the hour of the horror of sin! God has a history of being horrified by sin. He cleansed the earth by means of a flood to get rid of it. He waits until a whole generation of exodus rebels dies off before he lets their children enter the Promised Land.  He eliminates Achan and his family because of sin. He kicks Adam and Eve out of the garden because of it. And that’s only the tip of the iceberg.

Jesus warns the cripple at the pool after he heals him not to sin no more. He tells the adulterous woman caught in her sin to “go and sin no more” as well. He loves the Samaritan woman out of her sinfulness because he knew its havoc-reeking horror. One group’s sin horrifies Jesus the most: The self-righteous religionists. 

These stories are in Scripture to teach us how seriously God is horrified by sin. Discipleship is about climbing the steps toward the garden of the horror of sin to wrestle with it by watching and praying. Daily card-carrying cross bearers and holy self-deniers must come to grips with the horror of sin in and around them.

So the gift of tears and sorrow at the horror of sinfulness is a great gift. Ask for it. I pray you receive it. When you do, watch out. Sin in you begins to horrify you. Then the tears as they do for the physical eyes will cleanse your spiritual eyes. Sin around also begins to horrify you. That’s when you need your cross; climb on it and share in the sufferings of Christ for the sake of others. Don’t just let your stomach sicken, but let the horror of sin turn you into a watcher and prayer. When the gift of tears and sorrow come you will not suffer from sin-caused numbness. You will awaken and see how tolerant you have become of it.  The gift of tears will come to those who agonize before the Lord in watching and praying lest the smoke of temptation overtake them, dim their vision, and cast the spell of sleep of spiritual deadness. When the gift is granted you will walk up the steps of the garden of discipleship and horror with the Master as your guide. 

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