The Heart Of The Message

November 2010

Have you made peace with your flawed existence? Are you shackled by the heavy burden of shame? Rest assured that in Jesus, God has seen a way of escape that you may be able to accept yourself as you are in God. In previous articles I’ve spilled some ink on loving God and loving others. I dip my quill once more to address self-love or self-acceptance that deals with the ever-present shame in our lives.

By accepting ourselves as flawed human beings living in a real fallen world (it is in the air we breathe) that showers us with shame constantly we can make peace with our shame. Pretending total goodness is a dead end. Masquerading as sinless is hypocritical. As our wise old American, and spinach-eating philosopher used to say, “I am what I am”. I live a flawed life; I am a sinner to the point of depravity. But that’s only the beginning of my unfinished story.

Jesus echoes the biblical mandate to love God and to love others adding “as ourselves”. He vividly pictures a new humanity where shame over their flawed existence no longer cripples his followers. Loving themselves or accepting themselves as flawed people of God is liberating. Jesus would have it this way and made provision for it when he came proclaiming the Gospel and inviting them and us to repent and trust, not just once (the continuous present is used, mercifully) but as a way of life.
 
I have been browsing a gem of a little book by James Bryan Smith called Embracing the Love of God. In chapter two, Smith delves into the muddied waters of self-love or accepting ourselves in spite of the shame we feel. I have mused on a few of his thoughts, added a few of mine and voila.

We know we are accepted in the Beloved. But in order to accept ourselves, we must deal with our shame, even as citizens of the kingdom of God our new sphere of existence. Purveyors of money, power, and sex make their appeals to us 24/7.  We are tempted and succumb at times when preyed upon. We feel shame when our income doesn’t match our neighbors’, when our physique is more rotund than theirs, when their children are better behaved, and when their marriages seem perfect and ours dull. And don’t let me get started on hair! Living in this present world is an awakening to a daily dose of shame.

Out temptation is to create characters as playwrights create characters for actors. Rather than accepting ourselves as we are, we would rather hide behind our made belief character. Facing our false-selves is the act of looking into the mirror of our soul (a conversion-like experience) that helps us to acknowledge with Francis of Assisi “what I am before God, that I am.”

How do I deal with this ever-present shame? Puffing up in make belief is as good as a band-aid on a broken leg; it’s laughable. Trying to be very good by eliminating visible sin does not alleviate deep-seated shame. And the magic pill we thought would take the pain of shame away mocks us in our more sober moments. The truth is we and others we rub shoulders with at home, at work, at school, and at church are flawed human beings. Some of us are more flawed than others. We are more selfish than others. We are not simply good people who blow it at times. We are originally flawed. No one needs to prove this to us. We know it. C.S Lewis wrote in a poem called “As the Ruin Falls” that Smith quotes in his book: “I have never had a self-less thought since I was born.” Could this be true? I find that it is. God sees us as cleansed in the Beloved from our sin because he knows our wickedness, and our fall.

This paradox that we live in drives us to the humble reality that we must think rightly about who we are. We must become more real in order to come to terms with our shame. The publican did: “Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, be merciful to me, a sinner.” Jesus came calling the sinners not the righteous (Matthew 9:13). Paul could boast of his weaknesses (2 Corinthians 12:5-10). In admitting our sinfulness, our weaknesses, there is a cornucopia of healing awaiting us. Smith says that our “inability to be weak before God is the nemesis of the spiritual life.” The boast is in God who delivers and makes us fit for community, the context of loving ourselves.

I accept the reality that I have failed and that I am at fault in areas of my life but that is not the end of my story with God in Christ. This sincerity leads to a freedom that now focuses my life on the relationship God chose to have with me, which he paid for through Jesus Christ. I can now walk with Christ in the presence of God and his kingdom near me in all honesty, pitifully broken, utterly poor in spirit, and deeply needy. My shame is gone; I’ve been set free! The reality is that my heart condemns me but that God is so much more, so much greater than my heart (1 John 3:19-21). I may feel shame, but God does not see my shame. I may condemn myself without mercy, but God is faithful to dog my steps with merciful eyes. Because God accepts me, I can accept myself. I am imperfect but not afraid of being discovered. I am weak but God strengthens me.

The story continues on accepting ourselves with this continual turning of our eyes upon Jesus, with “looking full into his wonderful face until the shame of earth grows strangely dim in the presence of his glory and grace”. The story continues on self-love when daily I don trust as Joseph donned his coat of many colors, the gift of a father who knows his son’s pride yet loves him still.  Those who walk with the master know the shame of this life intimately and are learning to walk in the love and acceptance of our true selves in and by God.

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